


Predation

by bukkunkun



Series: The Player's Adventures in Offland [9]
Category: OFF (Game)
Genre: Double Penetration, Other, Romance, Threesome - M/M/Other, batter tries he really does, courting, it just don't work bb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-11
Updated: 2013-05-12
Packaged: 2017-12-11 12:58:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/798996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bukkunkun/pseuds/bukkunkun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Batter doesn't have much in the way of romance in him. Zacharie however, does. So when he notices how the Batter keeps eying his Player, he decides to impart some advice onto our hapless villain. Namely, to court the Player. Show them things that would attract them. Bond with them. Things that make the Player fall in love with them.</p><p>Batter tries, he really does, but his efforts fall just a little flat. The Player is confused and Zacharie is just annoyed. If the Batter can't do this properly, then Zacharie will have to show him how its done and share the spoils later... for a price, of course.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Three Strikes, OUT!

**Author's Note:**

> Written for a prompt on jerkin_off @ dreamwidth!

It was natural for Zacharie to notice things. He had a very keen eye underneath his mask, and a sharp memory to go along with it too. He was the type to remember all the details of a person’s face, their body, their characteristics, and whether or not they owed him credits. He knows all his item stocks by heart and keeps them well-maintained and counted at all times so he knew if some spectre would pilfer something from his bag of supplies, because what a dangerous life a travelling merchant had, after all. He can sell bats as well as he can use them.

Of course, because of his keenness Zacharie noticed something in his most regular customers. Watching them enter the shopping mall and approach him, a small smile spread across his lips as he saw the Batter lag right behind his Player, all-too-intently staring at them with intensity Zacharie could pinpoint with ease.

“Hello, my dear Player,” he greeted, and he saw the Batter’s eyes lift from his Player’s and to him, a glare replacing the look he was giving his Player from behind. He smirked behind his mask. The Batter was so much like an open book, it was a surprise the Player didn’t notice anything before. “I’ve got a nice new bat I think you and the Batter would like,” he spoke up, leaning down to rummage through his bag and pulling out the new bat he himself had tested out on a Spectre he had run into on his way there. His eyes widened slightly behind his mask—there was still blood on the bat, and hurriedly he wiped it away with his thumb before handing it to the Player for them to inspect. While they did so, mumbling under their breath and looking over at the credits they had stuffed in their pocket, Zacharie took this time to further observe the Batter’s actions.

He eyed the way the Batter look his Player over—his four eyes were soft, admiring, and had a light shine in them that Zacharie was sure he hadn’t seen in them back in Zone 0. His eyes wandered all over the Player’s form—their back (oh, _naughty_ , Batter,) their arms, their legs, their hair, and when his eyes wandered down to the Player’s hands holding the bat, stroking it and looking it over— _there_ , he saw it! A light flush crossed the Batter’s cheeks.

Oh, how _easy_. Zacharie thought to himself, trying his hardest to not laugh at the Batter’s predicament.

“Right, we’re taking this one.” The Player spoke up, breaking Zacharie out of his reverie, and, thankful for his mask, Zacharie coolly nodded, taking the offered credits to him. “And some fortune tickets and meat.”

Zacharie handed over the items, and after a brief exchange of thanks, the Player gestured for the Batter to follow them down the stairs.

“Wait just a moment, Player,” Zacharie spoke up, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to have a few words with the Batter for a moment?”

The Player and the Batter exchanged looks, both as surprised as the other, before the Player shrugged, and nodded. “Okay,” they agreed, “I’ll head downstairs first. Come back to me soon, okay?”

“… Right.” The Batter replied, just as the Player turned to leave. Zacharie snickered at this, earning him a glare from the Batter. “What do you want?” he demanded.

“I know what you’re up to, Batter,” he purred, sauntering out from behind the counter to be at the Batter’s side, who by now, was staring at him with four bewildered eyes. “I’ve seen the way you’re looking at the lovely Player, Batter.”

The Batter’s eyes widened even more, almost comically, and Zacharie laughed. “I can tell you don’t have a single romantic bone in your body, and at this rate you’ll never get your Player.” The Batter glared at him, but he held up his hands defensively. “But guess what, Batter, I know someone who knows the art of seduction.”

The Batter paused, and stood down. “… Who are they?”

Zacharie grinned behind his mask and presented himself with a flourish. “Yours truly.”

The Batter gave him a sceptical glance. “… You?”

“Yes, me.” Zacharie replied, “I’ll help you get that Player of yours, problem-free.” He showed the Batter a hands-up, winking despite the mask on his face.

“… What’s the catch?”

“There _is_ no catch.” Zacharie chuckled, “Just the satisfaction of a matchmaking job well done, and a lovers’ problem out of my hair.”

The Batter kept his sceptical stare.

“… _Okay_ , maybe if you let me watch?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Even just the dates? Kissy-wissy times with the Player, por favor?”

The Batter gave him a long, hard stare, and Zacharie kept smiling at him despite the mask over his face.

“Batter?”

“You have a deal.”

Zacharie’s grin widened. “Perfect. Now, listen up…”

* * *

"So, all we gotta do is just walk straight forward, and— _uaagh!_ ” The Player’s speech got cut off when their foot missed the uneven step and they fell forward.

“I’ve got you.” The Batter said flatly, cleanly catching his Player in mid-fall with a single arm, helping them straighten up stiffly, flustered at his close proximity with his Player.

“Thanks a bunch, Batter.” The Player smiled brightly up at him, and a warm wave washed over his body, and a smile fought to cross his face. He did his utmost best to fight it back, only to have it appear crooked on his face. The bright smile disappeared from his Player’s face and they pulled away from the Batter, a cautious expression on their face. “… Uh… do you have a problem, Batter?”

“N-nothing,” the man quickly replied, “You’re welcome, Player.”

“… _Riiight_.” His Player drawled, slowly nodding, before turning on their heel to walk onward. “Let’s get goin’.”

The Batter, when he was sure his Player wasn’t watching, sighed deeply, his shoulders slumping down. This wasn’t working.

“Strike one, Batter,” Zacharie suddenly spoke up next to the Batter, making the man jolt up and glare at him.

“How did you get here?”

“That’s unimportant,” Zacharie replied offhandedly, waving him off. “You just screwed up what I told you!” he scolded the Batter, “You should act all cool and collected!”

“I tried,” the Batter retorted, “I did as you said—stoic, cool, daunting,”

“Yes, but not _all_ the time, God! Your Player smiled at you, you were supposed to smile back all cool-like and handsome. Get them swooning, sweep them off their feet.”

“You didn’t say that last time.” The Batter grumbled, crossing his arms.

“Well, I had assumed you knew—”

“Batter?” the Player called out ahead. “Where are you?”

The Batter and Zacharie glanced at each other.

“Alright, fine. Here’s another tip for you, just before you go…”

* * *

“ _Christ_ , are those _more_ pedalos?”

“Seems like it,” the Batter replied offhandedly, looking down the plastic river. “It’s the only way we’ll get through to the other side of the area.”

“Oh, my God, I don’t want to do this,” the Player whined, “I’m out of shape, damn it, I don’t play games to _get_ in shape no matter how much I want to get in shape.”

The Batter chuckled, shaking his head fondly as he climbed into the pedalo. “Just get in, fatty, we have a zone to purify.”

His Player glared at him for a moment, but then they grinned, and the Batter grinned back.

His Player always looked so nice when they smiled.

“Oh, fine, whatever,” the Player rolled their eyes, chuckling as they got in next to the Batter. The man’s skin heated up at their close proximity but he fought to keep himself composed and silent as he and his Player began to paddle.

Quietly, as simply as he could do it, he lifted his arms and slung one over his Player’s shoulders, resting it across the back of their neck.

“Oh, hey, what’s this all about?” his Player asked, grinning up at him, and he grinned back.

“A little stretch,” he simply replied, “And because it’s much easier to paddle when your arms aren’t cramped around your torso, right?”

His Player laughed a lovely little sound that the Batter had always loved ever since he heard it.

“Okay, fine, whatever, dork.” They grinned, “Back where I came from, arm loops usually meant something else.”

“Oh, really?” the Batter grinned back at them, leaning forward in a challenging manner, and a grin crossed his Player’s face.

“Oh, you bet,” his Player chuckled back, leaning in as well, and the Batter realised how close their faces were. “Wanna find out?”

“You bet,” he replied, and suddenly their pedalo started moving on its own, and their eyes widened as the pedals suddenly moved on their own and they realised they managed to catch onto the set path in the water. Panicked, the two immediately set to pedalling themselves out of the trouble they landed in, but their movements were out of sync, and—

Half an hour later, covered from head to toe in dripping plastic, the Batter and the Player met up with a chuckling Zacharie. The Player angrily stomped around the man’s store, and, clearly fuming, looked through the selection of tunics that were on sale.

Zacharie, now practically sniggering, elbowed the Batter.

“Strike two, my friend. Let’s try again…”

* * *

“Here.”

The Player blinked down at what the Batter was holding out to them—a packet of sugar with a rather messily-tied ribbon to it. Confused, they took it cautiously from the Batter and looked it over.

“… Sugar.” They said simply after a long moment, “Uh, I don’t know if I needed this, but, um.”

“It’s sweet.” The Batter offered, “Like you.”

“That’s… that’s _nice_.” The Player raised an eyebrow at the Batter, turning the packet of sugar around in their hands. “Um, what’s it for? What’s up?”

“I just wanted you to have it.” the Batter replied stiffly, “Do you like it?”

“Well, I like sweets,” they began, and a smile spread across the Batter’s face, “But I think sugar’s a little overboard, don’t you think?”

“Oh, well…” the Batter looked off to the side, and much to the Player’s surprise they realised he was _biting his lip_. “The Elsens like sugar.”

“Yeah, that they do, huh,” the Player chuckled lightly, and the Batter relaxed slightly, his smile relaxing a little. “Well, okay, I guess, I’ll keep this with me.” they smiled at him, nodding, before slipping the packet into their back pocket. “Cute ribbon.” They commented, grinning up at the Batter, who smiled back at them.

“Thought it suited you,” he replied, earning him a look of confusion from his Player, but too happy and flustered, he walked onward, past the Elsen shovelling sugar into a chute, who didn’t even spare a single glance at them. His Player stared after him for a while, before chuckling, shaking their head fondly, and following after their Batter.

When they got the furnace at the bottom, though, the Batter’s good mood immediately dissipated.

“You’re telling me that the sugar is _dead Elsens_?” his Player shrieked, and the Elsen shovelling corpses (suspiciously looking like they were _slaughtered_ rather than they died of natural causes) nodded solemnly before returning to what he was previously doing. The Batter eyed his Player’s horrified face, and eyed the packet of sugar sticking out of their back pocket, and gingerly pulled it out of his Player’s pocket, taking the ribbon off before letting it drop to the ground.

“… Let’s go back upstairs, Player.” He said, and taking his Player by their shoulders, gently led them upstairs. They stood there together silently on the upper floor as the Batter patiently waited for his Player calm down, as in the back of his mind, he could already imagine Zacharie slapping his forehead in exasperation.

_Not another strike, goddamnit._


	2. Predation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get sorted out, they bang.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO FUCKING FRANK BUT IT'S LIKE, THE ASSCRACK OF DAWN AND I HAVE A PAPER TO WRITE GOODNIGHT

“So, you’ve struck out.”

“Could you stop with the baseball puns already?”

“Never.”

Zacharie chuckled, crossing his arms and leaning back against the wall, shaking his head at the Batter. “Oh, how I tried, but even the mighty fail.” He purred, and the  Batter glared at him, one arm akimbo. “Now what, Batter? You’ll never get your Player at this rate.”

“I know, damn it, I know,” the Batter growled, and Zacharie’s eyes widened slightly behind his mask at the desperation in the Batter’s tone. “I… I really want them to like me back, Zacharie. Really fucking bad.”

“You’ve got it bad for them, haven’t you?” Zacharie asked, frowning in thought behind his mask as he tapped his chin. “Oh, but what to do? You’re as hopeless as the Player when it comes to physical activities.”

The Batter grinned slightly at that, and Zacharie chuckled.

“Ah, they’re so cute, aren’t they?” he asked, “Watching them have a really hard time on the pedalos.”

“Or running around,” the Batter added, smiling a little wider now, and Zacharie had to admit that the Batter _was_ rather attractive, four eyes and all. “But they’ll sass relentlessly if you say something against them about it.”

“Quite.” Zacharie replied distractedly, as he secretly raked his eyes over the Batter’s well-formed body. _Oh_ , lucky, lucky Player, he smirked lecherously to himself as he watched the Batter’s arms flex slightly as the man reached up to fix his cap. His throat went dry at the thought of the Player (already so lovely and cute and so attractive despite their confidence in themselves, or rather, the lack thereof) tangled together with the Batter (built like a Grecian sculpture with muscles lean and sexy rather than bulky and gross) and that just turned him on all the more.

Damn, the both of them were _really_ attractive.

Zacharie was getting just as desperate as the Batter was.

“Alright, Batter, I have a proposition for you.”

The Batter looked at him faster than he had expected, and he himself jolted a little at the man’s enthusiasm.

“Tell me, _now_.”

“Calm yourself, amigo,” Zacharie chuckled, holding his hands up. “Tell you what; I’ll show you how it’s done—I’ll woo the dear little Player for you, and show you how predators actually catch their prey.” This earned him a glare sharper than knives from the Batter, but all it did was turn him on the more, “A-and,” he struggled to appear calm; “You’ll share.”

“Share?” the Batter echoed, and Zacharie lifted his mask slightly to show the Batter his wide grin.

“You, me, the Player. We’ll have a _ménàge-à-trois._ ”

The Batter’s expression was one more of curiosity more than horror, and Zacharie held his breath, silently hoping—

“… Alright, fine.”

Oh, my _God_. It was his day today, and he fucking _knew_ it.

“Excellent!” Zacharie clapped his hands together, smiling brightly at the Batter before lowering his mask again. “We’ll start _right away_.”

The Batter could only nod, and allowed Zacharie to walk on ahead of him.

His eyes couldn’t help but wander downwards at the merchant’s backside and he bit his lip.

 _Damn_. Zacharie and his Player sure did have it.

Wasn’t _he_ the lucky man or not?

* * *

The Player wasn’t dumb, they completely knew what the Batter was feeling for them the entire time they have been together—at first it had been awe, and admiration; the Batter had refused to touch them unless absolutely necessary in reverence to them in an odd obsession of keeping them “as pure as possible”, as the Batter worded it, but when they had grown close enough to stand next to each other closely without feeling weird, the Player had noticed how the reverent gaze of the Batter changed to one that was much softer and more loving, and they knew, somehow, that the Batter had always been in love with them.

Of course, not that they minded. They actually liked the attention, if they were asked about it.

Also, just maybe, they may have a thing for the Batter.

Well, setting that aside, they had always decided to just let the Batter make his move—if they were the one who talked to him about this little _thing_ they had together, God knows what would happen to the Batter? He would probably explode like those Elsens that ended up burnt.

The little things they noticed—the Batter’s crooked grinning, the arm-slinging in the pedalo, the packet of sugar (okay, neither of them expected _that_ plot twist that had been hurtling at them from a thousand miles away) were all signs that the Batter was finally trying. Well, he was _trying_ , but seriously, they had already known about this (because God, if they didn’t like the Batter that way, they would have already run away from the crooked smiling. He looked so freaking frightening crooked-grinning down at them from above like a serial killer, and for God’s sake, who trips over uneven flooring that low, of course they did that on purpose, goddamnit), when was the Batter going to make his stupid move already?

And then there was Zacharie. The Player had to admit he was pretty attractive, but he had seemed to be the type that went more for flings rather than a committed relationship.

Maybe a one-time thing? A threesome?

A blush spread across the Player’s face and a silly grin crossed their face at their thoughts. Beside them, the Batter walked on silently, but he was curious at the smile that suddenly spread across his Player’s face.

“What is it?” he asked them gently, and they turned around, a small grin on their face.

“O-oh, it’s nothing, really, I was just thinking…”

“About me, _ma chére_?” Zacharie spoke up suddenly, and the Batter and the Player halted in their footsteps to see the masked merchant leaning on the wall ahead of them, his mask lifted up to show his mouth, smirking at the two of them.

“Zacharie.” The Player stated, surprised, “You’re up and about.”

“Yes, well, I had been thinking about you for a while,” Zacharie chuckled, pulling his mask down and approaching them. “How beautifully your eyes sparkle when you find something amusing, or how soft your lips look.”

The Player smirked, crossing their arms. “And what’s this BS all about?”

“Isn’t it obvious, my dear?” Zacharie chuckled, taking one of their hands with his, and the other lifted his mask. He lifted the Player’s hand to his lips and kissed it, before looking up at the Batter, still smirking. “Are you watching, dear Batter?”

“Oh, for the love of God, is this what this is all about?” the Player laughed, pulling their hand away from a surprised-looking Zacharie to cross their arms again. “Are you and Batter in cahoots to see if you can seduce me? Like some bet?”

“No, it’s not like that!” the Batter blurted out, surprising his Player at his sudden outburst. He looked down at them, and embarrassed, he coughed lightly. “Might as well tell you,” he mumbled, and they raised an eyebrow at him. “I’m in love with you, Player.” He confessed, and he saw Zacharie look at him incredulously.

“You don’t just drop the bombshell like that, you have to have styl—”

“Well, there we go,” the Player smiled brightly, “Finally, what I was waiting for."

The two men next to them paused, before looking down at the Player, both surprised.

“… Excuse me?” the Batter asked.

“I was basically just waiting for you to tell me just that.” The Player chuckled, “You didn’t really have to woo me, you know,” they lightly punched the Batter’s arm, “I’m already attracted to you, just the way you are, you big silly thing.”

Zacharie and the Batter shared a look.

“… So, you’re saying you like me too?” the Batter ventured, and his Player nodded, shrugging.

“Yep, pretty much.” They replied, “So, when do we bang?”

The Batter gaped at them for a moment, before growling and diving forward at them, knocking them to the ground and smashing their lips together, lacing their fingers together into the ground as he straddled them and kissed them desperately.

Standing above them, Zacharie watched on, feeling his body heat up at the sight of the Batter kissing the lights out of the Player. Coughing lightly, he caught the Batter’s attention, making him pull away from his Player, who took a deep breath before laughing breathlessly.

“Love you too, man,” they laughed, before looking up at Zacharie. “… Oh.”

“Yeah, ‘oh’.” The merchant rolled his eyes. “We had a deal, Batter. We share.”

“Oh, my God. We’re going to have a threesome?” the Player asked, sitting up, and the Batter backed away from them.

“Do you not want to? I can chase Zacharie away—”

“Hey.”

“No, it’s fine,” the Player shook their head, earning them looks of astonishment for the second time that day. A grin crossed their face. They should do things like this more often. “C’mon right here, Zacharie, there’s plenty of me to go around.”

The merchant grinned down at them, and settled to sit down behind the Player. “You really are the best,” he chuckled into their ear, earning him a shiver of delight, and his smirk widened.

The Batter cleared his throat, a dry expression on his face, and the Player laughed, patting his cheek.

“C’mon, share, Batter,” they smiled, before leaning forward to kiss him again, this time more properly, their mouths opening into each other’s as their tongues intertwined between them. Behind them, Zacharie coaxed the Player’s hips up to raise their arse, and smirking, he reached into his pockets to pull out a bottle of lubricant, as his other hand pulled down the Player’s pants and underwear, making them moan into the Batter’s mouth. The Batter growled into their messy kiss and canted his hips upwards to thrust at air, and Zacharie looked down to see the man’s erection tenting his pants. A grin crossed his face as he squirted lubricant on his fingers.

“Player, darling, do help the Batter out, would you?” he asked, as he reached for the Player’s entrance and gently coaxing the tip of his finger in.

“Oh, _God_ ,” the Player moaned in response, pushing back into Zacharie’s fingers, popping his finger inside them up to the second knuckle. “O-on it,” they gasped into the Batter’s mouth, before theirs were claimed by them again. One of their hands rested on the Batter’s thighs to keep them balanced as the other one reached down to the man’s belt and unclasped it, before unzipping his pants and pulling his throbbing erection out.

“Player,” the Batter growled into his Player’s mouth as he thrust shallowly into their hand, lying back and letting the Player come up on top of him.

The Player took this as an order and began to slowly, languidly stroke the Batter’s cock, earning them grunts of pleasure as they fondled his hard cock, beads of precum pooling at the head.

Behind them Zacharie was slipping in his third finger, scissoring them around to loosen the Player up for the Batter (and, he thought deviously, later, himself) as he unzipped his own pants and pulled his own cock out.

“Za-Zah- _Zah_ ,” the Player stammered loudly, squeezing the Batter’s cock reflexively when the merchant thrust his fingers in particularly hard, “I’m-I’m ready,”

“O-K,” the merchant panted, pulling his fingers out, before allowing the Player to move forward and press the Batter’s cock at their puckered entrance. “Ready, Batter?”

The Batter only nodded, and Zacharie chuckled at his desperation, but it soon turned into a groan when he saw the Player take the Batter, moaning loudly as the man’s cock slid into them, and Zacharie felt his cock grow impossibly harder at the sight.

He began to languidly stroke himself as he watched the Player ride the Batter, whimpering in pleasure as the Batter’s hands came up to their hips to help them impale themselves on his cock over and over again, and that was when Zacharie decided he wanted to join in too.

“Can I come in, too?” he whispered hoarsely into the Player’s ear, and their eyes widened in surprise as they slowed down on top of the Batter. “Please, darling?”

“Player,” the Batter growled beneath them, canting up his hips in want of more friction, earning him a long moan from the Player.

“ _Yes,_ ” they did manage to gasp, though, shaking in pleasure at how deep the Batter was buried in them, and the Batter stopped, startled into awareness.

“Wait, what’s going on,” he began to ask, when he felt Zacharie’s fingers slip into the Player beside him, and his eyes widened. The Player blindly reached for his hands and grasped them in desperation, but also reassurance, when they looked down at him with hazed-over eyes, there was a hint of a smile on their face, and at this the Batter decided to relax, and allowed Zacharie whatever it was he wanted to do.

And _oh_ , was it glorious.

The two men let out low groans as Zacharie’s cock finally slipped in, and the pressure around them was overwhelmingly _delicious_. Above him, the Batter could hear his Player soundlessly gasping, their eyes blown wide as slowly, he and Zacharie started thrusting in turn, always leaving their Player full with every pull and push.

“G-guys, _guys_ ,” the Player gasped, “I’m—I’m,”

With a squeal, they reached their climax, and they clenched around both Zacharie and the Batter, milking them both for all they were worth, and with a growl, they came together, filling the Player with both their warm seed.

Panting, they laid there together, and slowly, carefully, both the Batter and Zacharie pulled out of the Player. Smiling weakly at them, the Player kissed each man in turn, before tiredly slumping over the Batter.

“Tired,” they mumbled, and the two chuckled. “But did you two enjoy that?”

“Absolutely,” the Batter nodded, kissing his Player’s forehead tenderly. “I love you.”

“Mm, yeah,” the Player mumbled sleepily, “Sure enjoyed your _prey_ , didn’t you?” they snorted, laughing, and Zacharie and the Batter’s eyes widened, and they shared a glance as the Player curled up on top of the Batter. “Predation. Pah! I ain’t having none of _that_ bullshit,” they chuckled sleepily before they fell asleep.

Panicked, the Batter grabbed Zacharie’s sweater and pulled him in.

“They _knew_?” 


End file.
